i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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