Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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