I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
