I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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