12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
