What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
