How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
