I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
