You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
