and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Alive.
So much puke
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
