Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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