She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
