If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
