i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
