i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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