The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
