So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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