Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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