just tell him i said nine months
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
