so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
