I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
