I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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