He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Quick, to the slutcave!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
