They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
