bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
cat food counts as protein by the way
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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