i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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