you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This toilet bowl is my home.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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