she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
