Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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