I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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