dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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