i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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