You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
