Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
