What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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