remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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