Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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