We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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