I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
