my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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