i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
