that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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