For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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