I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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