I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
