yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
