I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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