Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Of course I have a pirate flag
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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