New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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