There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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