She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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